The adoption process is long, filled with paperwork, and often slow; painfully slow. We were talking through everything last night with Kandace’s mother who is in town to visit. As we were discussing everything she made an interesting statement, “I often lay awake at night and wonder about my grandchild.” Truthfully, this is something I do, and I know Kandace does too.

I lay awake wondering where my child is right now. I lay awake wondering if my child is being loved and cared for daily. I lay awake wondering if my son or daughter has enough to eat each day. I lay awake wondering if he or she feels hopeless. I lay awake often wondering, asking, and filled with anxiousness. How long has my  child been there? Is my child scared? Is my child hurting? Is he or she kind, are people kind to him or her?

These are the thoughts, and many more, that fill my head daily. I just want to hop on a plane and go get my child. To tell them I have loved them before I knew they were my child, and always will. To hold, care, and provide for my child. But that’s not how the adoption process works, so we wait. We wait helplessly wanting to get to our child to end the life they now know for the one that we will share together.

I eagerly wait for the day when I can hold my child with teary eyes and say, “We got here as soon as we could.”